Whether you are or not sometimes you will always be accused of or feel it yourself.
Due to the high Fe of this personality trait, ENFJs always suffer from their sensitivity. Also a benefit for ENFJs, it’s a double-edge sword. Highly sensitive makes ENFJs more sophisticated and easily drained from emotional affairs.
You definitely have these experiences when you’re simply exhausted from social interactions, whether it’s a breakup, the loss of a good friend or other tiresome social activities. These activities are emotional burdens as to everyone, but due to high Fe, ENFJs would always invest much more than others into the activities they love.
So here comes the question, how to balance yourself more on the emotional state to make you more healthy and withstandable so that you don’t get drained very often?
There are many solutions to this. But first thing needs to be tackled, is the high sensitivity.
I normally stay very calm and peace around myself, but if I enter some vulnerable time, I’ll get very sensitive and overreactive on things normally shouldn’t. This is bad for mental health, you’ll get anxious over time if you stay long in this period.
So, solution #1: Meditate
This is the most effective method to tackle anything that causes anxiety. First, calm down yourself. If you can’t, don’t worry, just stop. Stop everything on your hand. Don’t mind it’s in a work or you’re walking. Just stop, physically stop.
If you want to create peace first you have to be at peace. Stop, literally.
Second, find somewhere quiet and open space. If you are not able to move around, it’s fine either, just dive your spiritual self into a big, pure white cube zone. Imagine you’re at the center of the cube, or the base center, the center of everything of your realm.
Third, calm yourself. After the process of you and your spiritual self’s meeting, calm your nerve, calm your soul. Try to talk to your spiritual self. For me, everyone has an alter ego inside their brains, so you need to pull that ego out of the abyss and connect with him. He/She’s the true form of yourself. If you have a hard time calming down yourself, do Deep Breaths.
How to deep breathe? 1. Stay/Keep still. A little movement is tolerable, remember the key part is to calm your heart. 2. Close your eyes, make everything slow down. 3. Start to inhale. Keep it slow. Inhale until you feel the air is filling up your stomach/belly. 4. Keep the air little bit, or stay the state. Then exhale naturally, follow the flow. 5. Cycle the steps, make it more naturally, until you feel like you can leave everything off of you for a moment, and concentrate yourself on the talk with your spiritual own.
Fourth, talk to your spiritual self. If you don’t feel like talk to him, you can skip to the fifth step. Understand what your spiritual self’s needs are, because he’s your true form, to tackle his problems is the ultimate way to tackle your inner emotion problems. The alter ego would have security problem, the most common one, or feeling neglected, because you barely listen to his needs. Tackling these problems can make you connect more to your true self, making you sufficient, or put it in a different way, confident, and happier. No matter what it’s going to benefit your emotional state.
Fifth, focus on your main recent problem here that’s constantly dragging your emotional state, making you anxious. After calming yourself down, you leave everything behind and reassess the problems you have right now. Order them one by one, find your priority problem, and focus on it. See if currently you have any solution for it. After an analysis (logical analysis and critical thinking, they are crucial for analysing problems) for it, if you can’t find any solution, it’s fine, leave it, seek solutions in the future, don’t beat yourself about it anymore. And start to focus on other subordinate problems. Cycle this process, focus on one problem a time.
The point of meditation is to take yourself away from the noisy and messy environment you have been in for a long time and renew your views on your own self. Physically leaving the current environment is also a way to meditate but we will talk about it later the post.
Solution #2: Deep Breaths
As I wrote above, the method of Deep Breaths. If you can’t meditate, simply calming yourself down would be better than you hurtling around.
Take deep breaths, calm yourself down and either, start to focus on your main problems here, or change your attention/focus on other things that appeal to you.
I’m just going to copy paste the fifth step of the last solution on how to focus on your current problems.
Focus on your main recent problem here that’s constantly dragging your emotional state, making you anxious. After calming yourself down, you leave everything behind and reassess the problems you have right now. Order them one by one, find your priority problem, and focus on it. See if currently you have any solution for it. After an analysis (logical analysis and critical thinking, they are crucial for analysing problems) for it, if you can’t find any solution, it’s fine, leave it, seek solutions in the future, don’t beat yourself about it anymore. And start to focus on other subordinate problems. Cycle this process, focus on one problem a time.
Solution #3: Physically Leaving the Current Environment/Place
A lot of troubles that cause us anxious and depressed are pretty much all environment originated. So leaving the current one is definitely a wise option for you to get it together.
Now I’m talking about balance and controls, so I will just state that leaving the place, for a moment, for some time.
Either it’s just you can’t stand your office anymore, take a walk outside for 10 or 30 minutes. Calm yourself down. Go meditate.
Or leave the place for a whole week. If it’s possible, leave for a month, this is a very effective method for you to take yourself out of box completely, and might find some new angles to tackle the current problems you have. What I mean by leaving, is entering another new environment, an environment that is hugely, not saying completely, different from your old one. If you’re just going to stay home, that’s fine either, it’s called healing yourself. You might can squeeze some time out to go to some other places after you have recovered.
And what’s the ultimate method to tackle anything relevant to your environment? Leave the environment, completely.
Solution #4: Vent yourself to people you trust/Talk to some mentors and someone who understands you
The problem many ENFJs feel drained is because others have put burdens, intentionally or not, to them, and they take them. Due to high Fe, energy and focus are always drained on the radiating empathy and emotion. In other words, you have received piles of garbage from elsewhere subconsciously or not and now you need to share it with others. Sounds weird right? But yeah, you have to express them to someone or some people, otherwise you’re going to get crushed by the weight of burdens.
Solutions for ENFJs are always better than anything rather than a bunch of comforts or the Awwwww. Fuck that, that’s useless.
So you need to hear it from someone who’s more knowledgeable than you or someone who actually understands your pains. They would always provide a solution for you rather than bunch of S people babysitting you which you don’t give a fuck and don’t care at all.
Note that, venting is always a temporary solution if you can’t find a solution to tackle the problem. But it’s fine if you’re just emotionally tired.
OK, high Fe always creates problems for the sensitive ones. However, if you can properly balance your emotional state, it’s not that easy to get yourself drained from social problems.
Stay cool, stay awesome.