Things That Haunt Me

One thing haunts me the most is the idea of staying average.

I hate nothing changes. 

But I am also very terrified of the idea that I can not fulfill my promises.

People look up to you and they think you’re a leader, but as a leader, a leader fears he leads the wrong way.

There’s this phrase, “half full bottle”, I heard it a lot in my student career. I think I may be one. Maybe not.

But I’m inadequate, that’s true. Because I do feel powerless towards many situations, not that I can not handle them, but rather I don’t have the resources to solve them.

Many times I feel like I need to live up to the figure that people suppose me to be, however that’s pretty exhausting and not my forte.

In the end, I would come back to myself because all the activities out there are just really not my thing.

I stay true to myself so that I can satisfy myself first rather than others.

I stay hungry and I name myself greed. The void in my heart always calls me afar and asks me to fill it. 

My desires never go backwards, they only grow with time.

The thirst of knowledge, is one of the manifestations of my greed. This drives me to go towards changes, rather than un-changes.

Greed is a good thing, so long you know how to harness it. It teaches you ambitions, it also gives you insecurity–the void you need to fill.

Greed is an abyss, there is no end, but it’s good, keep it this way. So that these mad desires drive you towards things you want.

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